Author's Notes: What can I say; I have no idea where these story ideas come from. Not a midnight inspired fic, Yay! Or not yay, this is a dark little story, all angst with no happy conclusion to be found. For once, I’ve titled it appropriately; this is a disturbed story. And a lot of people have said that they aren’t sure if this could really happen, or don’t agree with it, well, I don’t either, not really. Just an experiment piece, forgive me. Hell, I’m impressed anyone read it!
Summary: If Spike’s not as harmless as everyone’s thought, what’s going to happen when Buffy’s denials of him finally push the vampire over the edge?
Rated: Hard R
Date Started/Finished: April 24th 2003/September 21st, 2003
Disturbed Events
By ~Delenn~
Sometimes, it’s the things you fear the most, the deepest darkest terrors in that hidden part of your soul, which destroy you.
That’s not to say that some demon isn’t responsible for a good deal of self-destruction, in all the gut ripping detail assumed. Because, face the facts, they are, especially in a town like Sunnydale.
But then there are those basic, primal fears that do you in. The fear of not being loved, of being betrayed, abandoned, used, tortured, or killed.
Of course, for some, the killing isn’t the real fear; it’s everything that comes between. For those who roam the streets and come face to face with horrors every night, death seems like a relief.
And it is, because by the time you get through all those other nasty parts, death, death is the thing you’re craving, not the thing you’re crying over.
With that in mind, I give you the basis to every nightmare you’ve ever had (that she’s ever had…) the beginning of everything ending.
I guess when a bloke’s too bloody thick; he has to be bashed over the head (literally) more than once before he finally sees the light. Or, as luck would have it, blood red rage, whatever works for you.
See, I knew Dru never loved me, she didn’t care an ounce more for me than Angelus cared for her, or for that matter Darla cared for him. Vampires don’t love, that’s the rule, but at a certain point lust becomes need and need becomes convenience…
What, you lot thought there was some buggery brilliant reason for vampires to mate? S’not like we’re monogamous, even after that, it’s simply an acknowledgement. “Hey, bloody love shaggin’ you, and can’t much stand the idea of another bloke taking what’s mine… So, what do you say, give me permission to tear anyone else you sleep with limb from limb?”
Look here, vampires don’t like to share, and if they have to, they prefer to kill the “sharer” after the fact has occurred in various gruesome ways.
Now, despite all that, being the thick-skulled bloke I am, I figured that if Uber-Whore and The Poofter could get by on that idea, my princess and I could too.
So maybe it took me a ‘undred years to figure it out, but there was one lesson in all that rot; I vowed that next time, I would be the one with the knife and chains fetish and not the other way ‘round.
Course, I probably got some valuable torture techniques out of the horror that was those three loonies using me as their personal knife cushion; if it hurts me, then it’s bloody well going to murder you.
Now after a couple more rounds of “let me count the ways you disgust me,” ‘s finally occurred to me, in all the bloody blinding red detail, that I’m the one being whipped in this game.
You can say whatever you soddin well want about me as a person, but as a demon; I don’t play well with others. Well, I play well; shame is mangled corpses don’t tend to agree with that theory or much the people chasin’ after you after the fact.
Slayer’n can say whatever her pink little heart desires, but the chit’s never seen the demon come out to play. How does she think I got my name? That I was all teasing and suggestive and just lulled them onto the railroad spike? Let me tell you, not bloody likely.
I’ll even admit to being a bit like the Great Poof, in that I don’t much call on that side of me, though it’s a tad bit more complicated.
Are we following along, children? As a demon, I strictly despise being whipped, I hate being loathed, and I absolutely will not tolerate being scorned. I’m not soddin’ good enough to love you? Fine, but I warn you Slayer; I’m more than good enough to make you wish you’d never been born.
The crux of a good plan has always been three things: knowing your enemy, planning for the worst, and having brute strength.
Knowing my enemy, I can tell you the one thing that always makes the bloody worst possible outcome happen are her “friends.” Soddin’ useless lot they are, but when you’ve got something to keep fightin’ for and something to distract your opponent, well, it’s a foolproof plan. So long as you know who is your enemy, that is.
Spare me a moment to look back on the absurdity of the Slayer… did the stupid cow really think that she could just insult me and beat me and I’d be ole harmless Spike, chained up in the Watcher’s bathtub, the Whelp’s basement… couldn’t hurt a fly. Let me tell you, those Wankers made a right show of torturing me, and I let it go.
You just don’t kill the friends of the person you love, it isn’t proper, even if they’re hell bent and determined to be the death of you.
Truth of the matter is, it was ridiculously bloody easy to get that fuckin’ piece of mechanical hatred out of my head. S’matter of fact, I took it out right after that botched attempt with the doctor. How, you ask?
Children, children, have you mates not been following along? I used to live with the three meanest and bloody craziest vampires to ever roam; we weren’t a pack, we were utter annihilation. Now you mean to tell me that us four got such a lovely rep for being all smiles and playing kitten poker. Lot of bastards was into torture and rape, not exclusively to their victims, and so sue me; I followed proudly in their footsteps.
Dawning on you now? Carved the bloody thing right out of my head, I did. S’not like anything short of decapitation and that ever present threat of falling on a fence post can kill me. Took a knife, pushed it in, played ‘round until I hit something metal, used my other hand and yanked the damn thing out.
Simple really, when you’ve spent exceeding amounts of time being tortured in ways that make something like that feel like a horse fly bite; annoying but hardly painful. Brain damage? I may be a right stupid git at times, but at last, I remembered… I’m a soddin’ vampire!
Only question left, who do I kill first, ‘tis right simple if you’ve been following ‘long like good little children. The Whelp and Wanker of a Watcher won that poll by a long shot, and even invited me in after. Thought to insult me some more I guess, taunt me with Slayer’s un-love of me.
Ta, now children, be nice or I’ll rip your lungs out through your arses with that useful little hooked knife I’ve got in my coat, been saving it just for you.
They thought I was joking.
Course’n that’s for later… wouldn’t want to end the fun so soon, would we? No, I think not, seeing as you can’t rightly answer… having you splayed up on the wall, unconscious and naked.
As Peaches used to say, “Ain’t nothin’ funner than tiein’ ‘em up, torturin’ ‘em, and fuckin’ ‘em till their ribs break an’ their brains start to leak out of their ears… then ya can start pullin’ organs out.” Bastard used to be right fun and Irish ‘fore that nasty gypsy bitch; she even tasted rotten.
First lesson ‘e ever taught me; if they fall asleep, wake ‘em up right unpleasantly. Well, well, grandsire, think I just might be able to pull it off… I like sticking toothpicks (wonderful little creations; like miniature wooden spikes!) under their fingernails, all the way. Hurts like a hot poker up the arse (not a bad idea for later) and not much blood escapes.
Which brings us to the second lesson, torture is a precise art, it’s not sloppy, and nobody bleeds, whimpers, passes out, or screams until you want them to.
Right now, I’ll settle for the screaming those toothpicks (bloody brilliant word by the way) are inspiring in the two “men.” This would be when brute strength plays in; you can’t very well finish sticking them up all ten fingernails after the first one’s been done because humans tend to squirm… Course if’n you’re a vampire, you can.
Hope the Slayer ‘membered to tell them she loved them and that they were her bestest friends in the whole world. ‘Cause, if’n she didn’t, gonna be a tad too late come morning.
Witches, definitely not your average vamp’s cup o’ blood, what with the spell casting and all. Known more then a few fledglings to be castrated by a witch spell while trying to drink their blood, seems to be the most widely known spell.
But as everyone from Hitler to Cher know, practice makes perfect, and if you’ve had enough practice, even the strongest witches are a piece of cake as the saying goes.
Blood that powerful is sweet enough to make up for warts that don’t go away for months and dusted childer. Each victory makes the next that much easier, and the quickest thing you learn; even witches have to sleep.
Used to like Red and Tara, always edged towards my side… that is until I found out they’d been telling Buffy to go ahead and use me, I didn’t matter. The witches abandoned me for the sake of the Slayer and her group, just forgot all about poor old Spike.
I’ll show them something they can’t forget.
I put my hand over Tara’s mouth and press it tight, can’t do spells if you can’t say them, that’s the rule, and Willow won’t know anything because she’s off on her no-magic crusade. I like the look of fear on her face as she tries to see in the dark, find out who it is.
Shh, luvvy, it’s just Spike. Now stay real quiet, ‘ve got something important to show you. Better come with me, and don’t wake Red, know how she’s been lately.
A nod, so I was right, I’m not the only one who’s been abandoned, things aren’t perfect for witches in paradise. No matter, if paradise wasn’t enough, maybe hell will be.
How can she be so trusting of me knowing that she’s abandoned me for Buffy? Tara always has been too trusting and naive.
That’s right, move away from the bed, come with me, out into the dark hallway, s’not like I can do you any harm.
Please, there’s more then one way to skin a witch, and I can’t wait to show them that. First things first, I’ll take another lesson from Peaches when he was useful; the more you break them the sweeter they taste. And abandonment tastes oh so sweet.
I watch her spill her little heart out to me and wonder that she can’t see the difference in me, the red in my eyes, but I guess being abandoned by Red is keeping her caught up in her own problems. Seems things just haven’t been right since she left Red for using too much magic.
Aww, poor thing, a few words of comfort here, brush away tears there… it’s almost too easy to get her to acquiesce. In fact, it’s her who makes the first move, sweet little Tara, kissing the Big Bad vamp in the hallway outside her lover’s bedroom.
My, my… how things change. And then they don’t. She doesn’t say another word to me, acts like I don’t know perfectly well that she’s gay. Just “make me feel, something, anything, Spike,” just like the Slayer. Is that all I’m good for? A quick fuck to make the girl feel.
Well alrighty then, I’ll make you feel, I’ll make you scream in pain, but not until your lover hears you screaming my name as you come.
She’s soft in all the right places, curvy but still beautifully skinny, pliant as I slip into her. There’s a slight squeak before she covers her mouth as she adjusts to my size and having someone in her again… it’s easy enough to tell that I’m not her first, just the first in a long time.
I’m given a brief glimpse of why the Bint used to want to hurt people so much; it’s no fun being someone’s whore. Ta, luv, but it is if it’s for the greater evil.
Tara lets me run my hands along her body, making her feel good, so much better then any of her other lovers, I can tell by that little squeak of pleasure that keeps slipping out. I’m just sucking on her breasts when I hear shuffling in the other room, Red’s rolled over and found her bed empty. Speeding up my pace, I let her breast stifle the grin of joy I feel as she digs her hands into my hair, forgetting about being quiet, and climaxes abruptly just as Red opens the door and switches on the light.
I keep that look of Red’s in my head as I pull out of this warm body, I can wait for my release. Hardly a stunning fuck, but that’s to come later, when I’ll make their moans of pleasure turn to pain, then I’ll get to take my time and get off.
Tara’s just trying to straighten her nightgown as Red starts yelling, forcing Tara to look up and face that bloody beautiful look of pain on her lover’s face. The best part is that Red won’t kill me because Tara’s too sweet to let me take the blame for this. Hell, she did kiss me first.
Ah, I think I’ll like that look almost as much as the one when I rip her heart out. If you can’t take a witch head on, distract them, throw their emotions off, then watch them sob helplessly as you break one’s neck and rip through the other’s center.
That’s abandonment for you, when the other is dead and you’re helpless. Such pleasant memories too, at least I hope they enjoy them as much as I have.
When you really sit to think about it (and have seen your fair share of virgins) there’s no sensation more pleasant than raping a human virgin. They’re stupid enough to tighten up and clench their thighs making it hurt more, they are so tight and so hot, and best of all, they scream the loudest and cry the most when you slam in and feel them rip around you.
Makes it all the more sweet that this is what she wanted, that stupid girlish crush, wanted to be my woman did she? Well, Bit, this is what I do to my women, or did you think that being the Big Bad was an image?
She thinks this hurts? Wait until I take her up the arse; and get that thick metal bar I’ve been heating up for her, that’s what she should be screaming about. All in good time though.
Bit, have you heard of demon stamina? I know you have by the way you used to blush when I caught you looking at my crotch. Well, Bit, see the fun thing about that, it means it’ll take me that much longer to get off, which means more pain for you. Lovely how that all works out.
Let’s see now, round one, pain, suffering, blood… sounds ‘bout right. Whatever shall we do for the next round? Oh my, seems the judge called a remake, bloody Wanker, guess that means we’ll just have to repeat the process.
There, there, now, this’ll give you a little time to recover. You are quite the fuck, after all, always have loved virgins. Let’s see if we can get those big dear eyes to close and the tears to stop for just a moment, Bit.
That’s good, just like that, keep your eyes closed now, wouldn’t want me getting angry, I’m not all that nice angry, Bit. That’s right, just like that, so I can slide right back in and we’ll restart.
Not to worry, I’m making sure it hurts her more this time ‘round, otherwise what would be the point. Aside from getting off, that’s always a bloody brilliant point.
And she’s just so small and so tight and so hot, mmm, I’d forgotten how much I loved this. Being a tamed vamp just wasn’t near this fun, of course there was Buffy.
Ooh, did that slip out, sorry pet, did I forget to mention, Big Sis had me first, when I was still all lovable and cuddly, that’s why she used to send you away when I came in, and she knew all about your little crush.
I was a tamed soddin’ puppy, I was. But that’s never how you saw me, right Bit, you always saw the Big Bad, just like this, is this what you wanted, hmm? C’mon, answer ole Spike, or it’ll start to hurt that much worse.
Well, it’ll hurt her that much worse either way, actually, but sometimes you have to sugar coat things to the little ones. So sweet and innocent, bet they all bloody accept candy from Wanker strangers, even though they know better.
My Bit’s not like that, though, is she. She’ll learn her lesson, and she’ll learn it right, get to see how fun it is to be used, and she’ll know that it’s all Big Sis’s fault, always about Big Sis, never about her, because she doesn’t really exist.
Ahh, exploiting those weaknesses, shared in confidence, makes it all the sweeter.
Oh and those beautiful pert little breasts (well maybe not so little, been growing more than just tall, Bit) bouncing as you cry and pound on my chest, trying to make me stop. Did I forget to mention that I plan to cut those off? That’ll come just between the metal rod, you sucking me off, and me ripping out your heart. Then I kill you.
What, I thought that it was a pretty decent plan.
I can hear her heartbeat speeding up, faster and faster as I approach. My steps stay at the same steady soddin’ pace, because I’m not bloody trying to mask my presence to her. She’s the buggery Slayer, she’d be able to tell I was ‘round anyway.
Well now, her footsteps are certainly getting chipper, but for once, she isn’t running towards me. Bet the stupid chit is missing when I was her bloody rock now. Right, then, that’s not about to happen.
There’s nobody to call (nobody left, I made sure of that) so scream all you like, run for the phone if you must, only corpses will answer you. And I always did love a good chase.
And what’s this, didn’t even get ‘round to pulling out the sashes and garlic and deinviting me? Bullocks. Luv, this is getting right pathetic, too easy of a battle. Oh, that’s right, your little Wicca’s are dead to the world now, used them didn’t you, never even bothered to learn a deinvite spell? Tsk, tsk, luv.
Ah well, that’s all right now… don’t cry. Wouldn’t’ve stopped me anyway, you would’ve had to come out sometime. I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time now, luv, so let me see your face.
Hiding in that damn bedroom you never let me in, wasn’t good enough to come in here, was I? Well, I’m good enough (or is that bad enough?) now.
What’s a matter, luv, why are you crying? Can’t be over ole Spikey now, can it? No, of course not, right then, crying over your little under appreciated and overworked friends, you are.
You should cry, pet, it is all your fault after all, isn’t it. You’re good at guilt games, you know this one, killed them by association, just like with Angelus. You sleep with the vamp, selfishly; vamp goes bloody bonkers and kills a couple of your friends. Guess you’re the one to blame then.
Right, on with the show then. See, pet, Buffy, luv, it’s no fun being someone’s whore. I wouldn’t bet you could imagine, but I’ll give you a little taste. It’s degrading, and it hurts, and afterwards you hate yourself and them but you don’t have a choice so it happens again.
Starting to sound familiar, is it, now? But isn’t it just your lucky day, luv, because we’re not talking metaphorical pain or emotional chains, no, no, this is a real life demo, pet.
Let’s start with the fucking, shall we, because you’re all broken up inside, nothing left to live for, and I’ve got the world at my feet. So, I’d bloody well think I’m a tad stronger than you anymore. Ta, Slayer, that’s right, the Big Bad’s got you in his clutches. Isn’t this what you always feared?
Seems right ironic if you ask me, poetic justice, this is what you always were afraid would happen, but you made it. Never would have hurt you, luv, but now… well, I’ll still make you scream at least.
You wanted rough sex, wanted me to fuck you instead of loving you? I can do that right well, but then you’ll get to see. You can’t even imagine, but you will, my poor, sweet, naive, little slayer. Time to bring you into the darkness with me, let you see the red we all talk about.
Hurts, doesn’t it, here, let me soothe your tears, lick them away, only a little bite. Do you see the red now, Buffy, leaking out, always knew it was inside you if I could just find the spot… ooh, there it is, feel it now?
That’s right now, cry, scream, threaten, and beg… what I wouldn’t give to hear the Almighty Slayer begging me to stop. Not that I will stop, or that I’ll have to really give all that much, done with that I am, it’s your turn to do all the giving.
So soft and pliant in all the right places, always knew it would be like this… what, you’re not getting off on the pain anymore, oh well, guess it’s just me then.
Now, I think it’s about time you gave me a blowjob. Never have, not properly, and that needs to change. Oh, don’t be nervous, pet, you don’t have to look away, I’ll show you everything. All you need to do is suck and use that lovely little tongue of yours (maybe I’ll keep it as a memento) and I’ll do all the work.
And after this, we’re going to do it all over again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. Until you know what it feels like to be used and hurt and it’s engraved in your pretty little skull, (hmm, that’s an idea…)
Death, did you all hear that rot, the Slayer, begging for the Master Vampire to bloody well suck her blood and soddin’ kill ‘er!
No, no, pet, haven’t you figured this out yet? You don’t get off that easily, not by a long shot.
It’s too much to let her body die, that’s what the stupid cow wanted. No, I’ll settle for killing her soul and letting her live a long healthy life as a broken person who found all her friends dead.
Oh, did I forget to mention that little detail, hmm, must’ve slipped my mind. Left all her friends secluded away where Slayer was sure to find them before any nasty media. Ruin a vamp’s fun; the media does, ‘specially when they see bite marks.
Yep, one superstitious news caster can ruin a plan that’s been well thought out for months, but I made sure, made sure those stupid Wanker’s wouldn’t get a hold of the bodies before my girl here.
Took a fair amount of convincing, I can tell you, had to kill a right lot of people, and make sure they were the right people, but, ta now, what’s done is done.
What’s that now, luv, you’ll have to speak up, I was a tad distracted. Not that anything can take me away from fucking you senseless, just missed what you said, was all. Don’t worry, we’re not done yet, and it’s not bloody likely you’ll be making the great dust ‘n’ escape anytime soon.
This does bring the question, what am I going to do with you, Slayer. S’not like you’re going to chase me down, and you don’t have any little friends left to do it for you. Who will really care, anyway?
Ah, but if I let you go in enough of a piece, you might go back to the Soddin Wanker’s at the council and get through to the next slayer. Then I’d have to go and kill her too, and really, it’s all just such a bloody hassle.
No, no, luv, we can’t have that. Guess it’s time to go with my original plan. Oh hell, Buffy, don’t look so bloody pleased, I’m not going to kill you and I’m sure as hell not going to bloody well dust myself.
The other plan… follow along now, what happened to that Slayer stamina, you can’t be fading out on me yet. No, see, I knew you weren’t, though, come to think of it, you probably will after I cut out your tongue.
I’ll have to do something to keep you from up and passing out cold on me though… and I did already use my toothpicks on the Whelp and Watcher, wouldn’t do to repeat myself with that. Ah, well, I guess I’ll just have to go for the classic of taking you up the arse, like I did with Dawn.
Ah, and there, woke you up, didn’t that, and just a twist. Stop whining; and hold still now, there, a trophy of my latest Slayer. Now what did I say about fainting on me?
I. Bloody. Well. Said. That. I. Would. Have. To. Keep. You. Awake. Didn’t. I?
That’s right, we’ll just add some more blood to the sheets, and bloody hell, that smell is intoxicating. Slayer’s bleed like stuck pigs; wish I’d realized that a soddin’ bit sooner than now. And I haven’t gotten a right good bite to eat since the Bit, and that was really a snack.
Hmm, well, guess I lied then, bad, evil, soulless, vampire that I am. I think, after all, that I’m going to kill you. I know, all that rot about breaking you, but that always was more my Grandsire’s forte.
I’m a vamp of action I am, and right now, the most appropriate action seems to be killing my third Slayer and getting a good meal.
Ahh, luv, Buffy, don’t look so depressed; you’ll never just be my third Slayer. After all, you are the first I’ve loved and fucked, and well, you weren’t much to love, but you’ve been right fun to fuck.
That’s right, close your eyes now, it’s going to be over right quick, baby, the end of us. Well, you’ll live on in me, in everything I can do, you can watch from your happy little heaven and know that everyone I kill is your fault.
And with that, we shall finish this little saga. Spike kills Slayer, drains her dry, bathes in her blood, and all that rot I always used to promise. See, Slayer, I do keep my promises, just like you always knew I would.
Please e-mail the author of this story with your comments. goddess_delenn@yahoo.com