Sex: Nope
Violence: Not unless you count Gabrielle getting angry and hurling a dead chicken across the room. Ok, so there isn’t any dead chicken but you get the idea.
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters from “Xena: Warrior Princess”. They belong to someone else. If I did own them Xena and Ares would be playing house about now. I don’t like the new Gabby but for the sake of the story it has to be her. The interviewer is mine and is based on my cousin that looks a lot like Renee since the hair cut.
Authors note: This is just to get you through until some new stuff gets posted. This is also my first fan fic.
Co-dependency and Delusion - An interview with Gabrielle and Joxer
By Tali
A dark room, three spotlights are centred. One illuminates a lone figure sitting on a chair, desperately trying to keep from falling asleep. Cue the fake applause and we close up as the figure jumps, startled.
Lisa: Good morning (attempting to smile). Today I have the good fortune to be interviewing…(squints at the card in her hand and reads slowly) Gabrielle and Joxer.
Cue more fake applause as two figures emerge from behind a potted plant and make there way to two swivel chairs in the centre of the room that magically appeared.
Gabrielle: (looks at Lisa and the uncanny resemblance between them) Good morning, isn’t it a beautiful day?
Lisa: (grimacing at how perky Gabrielle is) Why, (extended pause) yes it is.
Joxer: First I want to start of by saying how honoured I am to be here. Especially when discussing a topic so close to my heart as my buddy the God of War and Xena.
Gabrielle: Joxer, (pause, she smiles as nicely as she can) Ares hates you. He calls you a moron.
Joxer: In a friendly way, Gabby.
Gabrielle: I recall him having his fist in you face at the time.
Joxer: (puts on a puppy dog face and starts to sulk) Gabby... Your making me look bad in front of the pretty interviewer.
Lisa: (Startled) Lets get back to Xena and Ares shall we?
Gabrielle: Oh, yes. I’ll tell you all about Ares! (Pitch of voice starts to increase) Well first there was the time he killed innocent villagers to get her back, then posed as her father, then persecuted her and sent her nuts, joined forces with the enemy, tried to take advantage of her when she couldn’t remember anything, and last but not least tried to make a deal with her to have his child!!!
Lisa: (Backing the chair up a few inches to distance herself) How does that make you feel?
Gabrielle: How do you think? The worst thing is, I don’t think Xena minds the attention she gets from him. They have been spending way too much time together of late.
Joxer: I think they love each other. (Joxer blushes when Lisa smiles at him. Gabrielle hits Joxer over the head)
Gabrielle: Shut up Joxer, I’m talking. (There's that self absorbed Gabby we miss)
Joxer: Yes Gabrielle.
Gabrielle: Who knows, Xena said she felt something when she fought with him. Damn warrior princess wouldn’t tell me what though. (At this stage Gabrielle is now standing and shaking her first at anyone or thing that will make eye contact)
Lisa: Well I think that concludes our interview, very nice meeting you two. (Smiles on the outside, screams on the inside with joy, finally able to get away from that damn bard)
Gabrielle: (Eerily calm again) Lovely meeting you.
Lisa: Goodbye Gabrielle, Joxer.
Joxer: (Blushes, then gets up the courage to talk to Lisa) Um, Lisa?
Lisa: Yes?
Joxer: Would you like to get some mead or something? I mean you don’t have to if you don’t want to. (Gabrielle is about to explode)
Lisa: Why Joxer, I would love to. (Hooks arms with Joxer and walks out the door with a very annoyed blonde behind them)
Please e-mail the author of this story with your comments. goddess_tali@yahoo.com.au