If the idea of an Ares/Xena relationship bothers you, don’t read it. I’m very pro Xena/Ares and in my opinion, there is no such thing as a subtext.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don’t own Xena: Warrior Princess, and am not intending to infringe on the copyright. This will serve as the disclaimer for the rest of the chapters, so you have been warned. Thank you.
One more thing, the sun is setting, but has not yet set…which brings us to the beginning of our story.
Read on, warriors
Ashes
By: Serenity Sea
Gabrielle cradled the urn in her hands gently. The lid was off, but she wanted to be sure that there was no mistake for the ashes to slide in accidentally. She was abiding by Xena’s wishes, as hard was that was, and understood what she was doing.
Suddenly, there was a brilliant burst of silvery-blue light, and Ares appeared, stumbling slightly on the incline of the hill, and, in the process, jostling the urn in her hands. Gabrielle watched in horror as the ashes fell into the water; just as the sun was setting. “Oh, I’m sorry," he sneered. “Did I just do that?"
Her life force was returning to her body and Xena, who had been leaning against Gabrielle in her ghostly form, slumped to the ground from the shock. Gabrielle knelt to face her friend and then shot up against Ares.
“Do you have any idea what you just did? Those souls needed to be avenged, Ares, and now that she’s alive, they can’t be."
Xena roused herself just in time to hear him speak. “They already have been—for far more than they’re worth." He kneeled down to Xena and gathered her in his arms gently. “The fountain is going to take a long time for her to heal. I need to take her with me."
Gabrielle protested. “No. No way, Ares, you only want her now that she’s weak and can’t resist you." Belatedly she clapped a hand over her mouth.
At this, Ares sported a grin. “Resist me, huh?" He looked down at his princess and whispered in her hear. “So you did feel something?" Xena’s blue eyes flew open and darkened at his proximity, though her mental abilities kicked in a second later, and she tried vainly to get down. It was no use. The God of War was stronger than her to begin with, and she could just about match his wits when she was fully alert. Now she could barely anticipate when he needed to breathe, much less remove herself from his arms. Ares sent Gabrielle to Poteidaia, and then disappeared with Xena in his arms to the Hall of War—on Mount Olympus.
***
When she woke, she knew she wasn’t in the Elysian Fields. She wasn’t even in Hell. But still, she felt an overwhelming sensation of relief and safety. Before she could even sit up, Ares appeared, looking very, very pale.
“How are you doing?" He asked her quietly, while regarding her appearance. Xena managed to rub the sleep out of her eyes and then acknowledged him. “What are you doing here?"
Ares smirked. “I live here." He cast a look at the luxurious surroundings. “You don’t remember?"
It came back to her, rushing like an enemy on the opposing army. “Yeah. No. Oh no." She got out of bed, not realizing what she was wearing. “The souls. 40,000 souls. Ares—if I’m here, then the souls aren’t avenged!"
Being a gentleman for once, he averted his eyes. “Um, sweet, you might want to get back into bed before we discuss this."
Xena looked down at her scantily clad appearance and then back up at Ares, blue fire spitting in her eyes. “What in god’s green earth am I wearing?"
“It was all I could get you into—to make sure you returned to you body in place."
She was still glaring at him but seemed to accept this explanation. “Where’s Gabrielle?"
He rolled his eyes and sprawled out in his throne. Of course. Her first thought is of Gabrielle. Not, “Thank you, Ares, for saving my life, once again."
“I’m sorry," she said quietly. “Thank you for saving me… again."
He stopped his brooding thoughts and sat up to look up at her. “What did you just say?"
“You said that my first thought was about Gabrielle, not you about you or saving my life."
“I never said that."
“Yes, you did. I heard you."
He shook his head firmly. “No—no, I didn’t."
Exasperated, she threw her hands up in the air. “Okay, then just how could I have heard what you were… thinking?" she trailed off, guessing blindly.
His eyes skimmed everywhere before landing on her face, and warily, their eyes met. She took an unsteady step back onto the bed. “Oh please don’t tell me this is happening. Tell me you didn’t do what I think you did."
“And what would that be?"
Xena opened her mouth to speak before having a wave of weakness ripple through her, and her body sank back onto the bed.
Ares drew in a deep breath and flexed his arms. “There now. That’s better."
***
Sometime later, she woke up to see Ares sitting attentively in his throne, glaring at the roaring fire that was blazing across the room.
Determined to be civil, Xena sat up, closed her eyes and inhaled the scent of the room. “I always loved this place. More than any of your temples."
He swallowed hard. “Well. That’s good, considering you’re going to be spending the rest of your life here."
Giving him a strange look, she got out of bed, this time, really not caring if she was wearing shift or not, and walked over until she was but a few feet away from him. “You wanna repeat that? Because if you think that since you saved my life—"
“—Xena—just drop the act for once, and hear me out."
And she, astonishingly, did.
Ares looked at her, almost mockingly. “The way I see it—I’ve killed enough people to cover you for six lifetimes. Plus—Eve—she killed a lot of people, so let’s cover her, too. And yeah, throw Blondie into the mix, because she’s killed a few, too. Basically, you’re covered."
“What are you saying, Ares?"
He closed his eyes and, wincing briefly, waited. Then it came.
The air around him shimmered, and started to float towards Xena. Abruptly it stopped, giving them both a chance to view it. All the sparkles—his godhood, his essences—flew at Xena directly, hard and fast. The impact slammed her back on the bed, and Ares sank to the ground, powerless.
“I’m saying… you’re the new God of War."
***
Months passed.
The first thing Xena had done was wipe out Gabrielle’s memory of her resurrection. So as far as the Bard knew—Ares never came, and she was still the girl with the chakram.
That made her wince.
It wasn’t that she begrudged Gabrielle the weapon—well, okay, so she did a little—but the chakram was her weapon; a gift from Ares. In some strangely comforting way, it represented their relationship—that was oh so difficult to put into words.
But, she mused as she ran her fingers caressingly over the hilt of the powerful sword at her hip—Ares’ sword—this one would do quite nicely.
As long as she had this, some bit of her bond with Ares was still tangible; intact.
How many times had he gripped this blade? How many times had she seen him wield it; perfectly matched to his power in all ways? How many times had she been on the opposing end? And how many times had she been saved because of it?
A very sobering thought.
Not just the sword itself, but at Ares’ own hands. (Well, yeah, there was that one time he drowned her, but she came out of that one, right?) Too many to count.
And now, he’d given it all up—yet again—because he—
--because he what? She thought bitterly. He loved her? Was that it?
“Ugh." She rolled over in his—her—throne, draping her legs over arms; unconsciously imitating his patented move. And then she grimaced, for this was how Aphrodite had found her—the second time—and promptly burst into tears.
The first time, though… that was a different matter entirely.
*Flashback*
Tiny golden stars and pink rose petals swirled in their own private vortex, and Aphrodite blinked, looking at the scene unfolding before her. She stepped forward, but was blocked by some invisible wall. Going so far as to try and blast her way through the wall—a move Ares certainly favored; not her—she realized that she had intruded upon a colossal moment in history.
Which would explain her not being able to enter.
She could do nothing, but stand back and watch.
Aphrodite looked on in horror as Ares gave up his godhood—once more—for the woman he loved. She saw Xena fly back onto the bed, stunned mentally, emotionally, and physically, from the gesture.
And then, for the first time in her life, she saw the Warrior Princess faint.
So only she saw Ares kneeling and broken on the floor—the powers of his home wrecking havoc on his now mortalized body—as he somehow crawled over to her, kissed her forehead and whispered parting gifts of love.
Then he disappeared and she was promptly yanked out of the ether, back to her quarters. Where she remained for quite some time.
***
She had no one.
Not Gabrielle, certainly not Aphrodite. Not her mother—if she was even still alive—and now, she didn’t even have Ares. Which unsettled her in more ways than one.
She’d always had Ares.
When she was ready to snap at Gabrielle, or about to lose her notorious temper, he was there, his voice in her head calming her. Making her—no forcing her—to see the humor in the situation. There were times when he simply wrapped his mind around her for pure, undiluted comfort; like every year that she mourned Lyceus and Solan—among others.
Whether she liked to admit it or not; He. Was. Always. There.
And now he wasn’t.
And the void it left in her heart was jagged and broken. It would probably never heal.
***
The first day she had awoken—really came alive—she’d started three mindless wars in Egypt. It didn’t register that that was where Gabrielle would be heading; didn’t matter that innocent blood would be shed for no reason;
All that mattered was doing her job and doing it damn well.
It only added to her anguished state as she came to more of an understanding each day of what Ares had sacrificed.
That, of course, only fueled her anger, which in turn, caused things on the mortal realm to become very difficult.
Because of her vengeful anger infecting everyone, love had no place in the world anymore. The bloodshed and horror that spanned the entire earth was overwhelming. Which meant that Aphrodite would have to pay a visit.
***
And so that was how the Love Goddess had come to find her, sprawled (AN: Those War Gods, they do a lot of that, don’t they?) on the throne like she was Ares himself, so nonchalant and bored by it all.
She almost lost it then and there, and left for the safety and comfort of her own rooms, but steeled herself to go one—and at least find out is she could diminish some of the anger. Aphrodite approached her. “Hey, ah—Warrior Chick?"
Xena’s blue eyes listlessly found hers. “Yeah?" She answered, unaware of how much she sounded like Ares. “What’s wrong?"
Her tone, her stance, her attitude simply reeked of Ares, and she lost it. It was too much for the Goddess of Love to take.
Her brother was dead, and his chosen, his successor, his love for god’s sakes, was acting just like him.
She left in a burst of tears and Xena was puzzled.
“Wonder what that’s all about?"
***
Gabrielle did not sleep well.
Ever since Xena had died, she kept having nightmares of Ares, stumbling against her, and, in the process, spilling the ashes into the fountain.
But that couldn’t be true, she reached for the small, black urn and peeked at the ashes, making sure they were indeed there. It couldn’t be true because Xena was really, and truly dead.
…so why did she keep dreaming she wasn’t?
***
It was hot. Very hot and black leather plastered to your skin did not exactly help. Although the God of War had no powers down here, his clothing remained. Like it was indestructible. A smirk twisted his full lips and he rolled his eyes.
Yeah. Clothing by Olympus. That would sell.
He wondered—not for the first time—how Xena was doing. Obviously, pretty well, considering the hordes of people that were shipped down here every day.
A part of him loved it—loved that she had flawlessly and completely taken over his job, and another part of him was… what? Hurt? Was that it? Or was he just scared that he would lose the essence of the freedom fighter he’d come to love?
A shiver ran down his spine and he shuddered, remembering all to well when he had arrived.
***Flashback***
“Next."
The line moved slowly, like wounded on a battlefield. He waited for what seemed like hours, and then winced, as he realized that he was the ‘next’ one.
“Next." Hades didn’t look up from his Book of the Dead, getting ready to scan the next soul’s past sins. “Name?" He asked, as Ares approached the dais.
“Ares."
The Lord of the Dead’s head snapped up and he gave his nephew an incredulous look. “What—how?"
War’s eyes flashed dangerously and for the first time in his life, Hades was afraid of him. “Why don’t you check your book," he retorted, knowing that the real reason he was down here would never set in that book, “You’ll get your answers there."
With shaking fingers, he turned the page and winced. There was nearly a whole volume on what he had done, shrunken down to fit the book. But when he started to read, the font expanded and it seemed as though the whole book grew another half.
He risked another glance at Ares, visibly startled when he noticed him drumming his foot impatiently, as if he was only here for a visit. He looked exactly as he would, were he still a god. Leather, metal studs gleaming, cropped black hair shining. Hand resting cockily on his hip—where was his sword?
Apparently, he’d spoken that last thought out loud, for Ares snarled and grabbed him by the throat. (God or no, he was still stronger than the exhausted Lord of the Underworld.) “Send me to Tartarus and get it over with." He dropped his uncle to the ground and glared, adding unnecessarily, “now."
***
He rested his head on the hot rock behind him. That hadn’t gone so well. He was angry; at himself, at Xena, for assuming she could take on such a task alone, and at Hades, for pretending such an air of condescension it sickened him.
From somewhere in his heart, though, Hades had had the foresight not to place him anywhere near his family—namely, Athena—and for that he was grateful. And there weren’t a great many things that he was grateful for, as a matter of fact.
Aphrodite, for always caring, and wanting the best for him even when no one else did.
Cyrene, for creating Xena. Xena, herself, for being beautiful. For being trustworthy (most of the time; he was still seething over the matter in Jappa.) Strong. Capable. Hell—for just being herself.
Well, yeah, so he’d always loved her, but now he just loved her more. She had his sword. And his heart.
And as long as she held those, he was certain, that a part of him would never, ever die.
***
And finally, she snapped. She was tired and pissed and she wanted nothing more than to fight with Ares.
But no, her inner voice mocked, as she started to pace the halls of war. You can’t do that because he gave up his life for you. Again.
“Oh Gods, just stop it!" She yelled to them empty halls. “I know what he did! I know—because… I was there."
She stumbled over to her throne shakily, and sank down into the massive chair. Leaning forward, she put her head in her hands and just sat.
***
Xena didn’t know how long she’d been sitting there, when she became aware that she wasn‘t the only one mourning the God of War.
“Hello Aphrodite."
The goddess stepped out from behind the pillar where she’d been hiding, and rubbed a crystal tear off her cheek.
“It’s just," she sobbed, “I miss him so much. He was the only one who realized that I wasn’t just some beautiful goddess lacking a brain. He took care of me when everybody else wouldn’t—or couldn’t—and now he’s gone."
Xena had risen from her seat, and embraced the other immortal. “I know." She said simply, squeezing her gently.
Aphrodite looked up, a faintly accusing look in her eye. “How could you? You didn’t live with him for thousands of years. You don’t know what he was like before you came into his life." She almost glared at her, “do you have a clue as to how much he loves you?"
Xena, somewhat overwhelmed by her outburst, looked away for some time before answering softly, “I’m beginning to get the idea."
***
The Bard looked at the captain and managed a smile. “Here; take this. Thank you for taking me on in such short notice."
The crusty sea-faring man looked her hard in the eye. “Dinna have much of a choice. You snuck on as a runaway."
She flushed and pressed a satchel of gold coins into his palm. “Thanks just the same."
Gabrielle walked off the docks, inhaling the scent of the harbor and half expecting to see Xena at her side, giving her a running commentary of their new location.
She didn’t have that now. Xena would never tell her about places again. She had just paid for the voyage, not Xena, as she had always done before. There had been no one to comfort her this time when she got seasick.
The blonde sighed. Xena was dead and there was nothing she could do about it. Her green eyes cast about the square, hoping to find something to take her mind off of her thoughts. A minor scuffle broke out in front of her, between two merchants.
By the Gods, but she could swear that Ares was going insane—what with all the war in the world.
Ares.
Uninvited, a vision of Ares, swearing at her, the words pouring out of his mouth far too fast for her to read.
And then—just as soon as the image had come—she got a sharp pain in her head and a blinding light flashed behind her closed eyes.
***
Xena made sure that Aphrodite was safe in her bed, realizing that she was taking care of her—much like Ares had supposedly done.
Yet another reason that he had to be brought back to his station.
She felt a tingling at the back of her head (AN: No, not Ares.) and knew that Gabrielle was hurt. With a twinge of annoyance, she ethered to where she registered Gabrielle’s presence.
***
Gabrielle had passed out. Somewhere, in the back of her mind, she knew that. But slowly, as she came to, she was aware of being rescued—after all, she had collapsed in the city square—amazing someone had even seen her go down.
But someone had, because here she was, laying on what she hoped was a bed.
A vision of Xena’s annoyed face floated in front of her and then she opened her eyes to see Eve, staring at her in shock.
“Eve?" She asked, bewildered. Maybe that’s why I thought Xena had rescued me…
The young woman’s eyes lost their cloudy look as she focused in on her mother’s best friend. “Yes, Gabrielle?"
The Bard looked around. “How—where?"
Eve followed her gaze. “We’re at a small in outside the city square. You’re lucky I was in town—I don’t know what would have happened to you if I wasn’t."
Gabrielle started to sit up and flashed Eve a grateful smile as she assisted her efforts. “I don’t know what happened. One minute I was—well actually, what was I doing?" Eve nudged her gently to go on. “Right. And then the next—I’m here with you. What are you doing here, anyway?"
She shrugged. “After my campaign ended in Chi’in, I was just kind of wandering. There was too much war going on for me to keep preaching my message, so I just started offering a message of comfort. Somehow—through that—I found out that mother had—was—"
“—Oh Eve—I’m sorry." Gabrielle threw her arms around her neck and they hugged. “I meant to tell you, I did. In fact, I could have sworn I sent you a scroll. But after she… died, I went to Poteidaia, and well… everything was kind of a blur for a while."
“That’s understandable. Was it—was she at peace when she died?"
Gabrielle avoided her eyes and Eve gave a watery laugh. “—Nothing with mother was ever peaceful. That’s why Ares wanted her so much."
A white-hot pain flashed through Gabrielle’s head and she cried out.
Seconds, maybe minutes later, she opened her eyes again to look at Eve—who was gripping her hands tightly.
“You okay?"
She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. “I think so…"
***
Again.
Gabrielle had almost remembered again. It was a stroke of luck that Eve had been in the area. If she hadn’t… well, she had, and now she didn’t have to worry about that.
What she did have to worry about was the fact that Gabrielle was starting to remember—and it was far too soon for that.
***
Something tingled at the base of his neck and Hades grimaced. A god—a very powerful one from the sense of it—was registering in his domain.
The feeling grew closer and closer and finally, he looked up to see Xena, outfitted in a floor length leather dress, complete with Ares’ necklace—emblazoned with the rune of war—and sword at her hip. All in all, it was a sight to behold.
Still wary of her, for the power was rolling off of her in waves, he asked nervously, “I take you’re not—ahm—dead?"
“No."
Okay. “So then. What can I do for you?"
“Ares."
The bluntness of her comment had him taken aback. “What—"
“I want Ares back."
Ohhh. Well this was kinda tricky. A chosen could demand her patron back—if she was powerful enough and they had the reason that would ensue the God’s freedom. “Why?"
She frowned. “Why what?"
“Why do you want him back?"
He risked a glance at her face. She looked annoyed. Obviously, she hadn’t expected her command to be questioned. “Because the world needs a God of War."
He realized she wasn’t able to admit it yet. Hades shook his head, as if she were a small child instead of a full-grown goddess. “Yes; but why do you want him back?"
This time, she took a few steps back, distancing herself from him. And then, quietly, “I miss him."
At this, Hades winced, because he knew that must have been hard for her to admit. Unfornately, it wasn’t a strong enough reason. “I’m sorry," he said, sounding truly distressed, “but that’s not enough of a reason."
Hades raised his hand and blocked her out, sending her into the ether by force—so that she was gone before she had time to react and was unable to do anything about it.
***
At about the same time, Ares’ head snapped off the rock he’d been leaning against and he held it, groaning in pain.
An image of Xena, crying, and stumbling to his throne after an emotional outburst that had to do with… him??!
And just as abruptly, he felt her. Really—felt her—like she was standing right next to him. Moments passed and he felt her heartache wash over him like a tsunami.
Then, it went blank; he couldn’t feel her at all and he knew that Hades had shoved her out of Tartarus.
***
The water trickled off her hands and Gabrielle smoothed some back in her hair. She palmed off the remaining droplets and stood, making her way back to her camp. She’d only gone a few steps when a twig snapped behind her.
With lighting speed, she had her sais whipped out and pointed at her shadower; “Who are you?"
A small laugh covered the distance and the figure walked into the light. It was only Eve, and Gabrielle breathed a guarded sigh of relief.
“Thank the gods it’s only you."
Eve’s blue eyes sparkled mischievously, like her mother’s had often done. “A little jumpy, Gabrielle?"
She sat down on the bedroll, nodding. “That’s the truth. Wait—why are you still here? I thought you had left."
“I was going to go after I’d seen you safe in your bedroll. The next town can wait a few hours if necessary."
The bard was overcome with emotion. All her life—with Xena—she’d taken care of Xena’s child.
Now Xena’s child was taking care of her.
That in mind, she attempted to smile—one she hoped was reassuring. “I’m fine."
One brow raised, imitating her mother perfectly, Eve smirked. “Is that so?"
Flustered, Gabrielle said, “That fainting episode—that was a one-time thing." At Eve’s look, she admitted, “—Okay, a two-time thing. But I’m better now. Honestly."
The eyebrow remained where it was; raised in total skepticism. But Eve wasn’t blind to the grief Gabrielle’s insides were screaming. She wanted to be alone.
“Okay, Gabrielle. But if I get word of the Poteidaian Bard fainting—I’m coming after you."
The empty threat reminded her again of Xena, and Gabrielle blinked a few times to dispel her tears. “There’s an Amazon post around here somewhere. I’ll be fine."
The daughter of the Warrior Princess knelt down and hugged Gabrielle’s resisting form. “Bye."
“Yeah."
She mounted her horse, a small frown on her face. It was unlike Gabrielle to forget where the Amazon posts were. She must really be out of it.
***
This time, the dreams came as soon as she closed her eyes—and were more vivid than ever before. And, unlike previous times, she could hear and read the words coming form Ares’ lips.
As if stuck in molasses, she turned too slowly to stop it—(what was it?)—from tipping. She heard herself scream ‘NO! The souls!’
And his eyes were glittering strangely when he answered her—‘They’ve already been taken care of…’
The vision faded, the edges becoming black around the edges. The last thing she remembered was hearing him say:
‘For far more than they’re worth.’
***
--Gabrielle slammed up from her bedroll in horror. ‘No,’ she thought. ‘Impossible.’
But it was possible, she realized with growing certainty. And if it was true, then that meant all of her dreams—nightmares—…were also true.
Like the dam to a floodgate being opened, her eyes widened as the memories cam rushing back.
Ares knocking the ashes in…
Xena being restored…
Ares taking Xena…
Souls being retributed for more than they were worth…
Her mind blank, in Poteidaia…
And then her eyes widened in shock as her brain worked overtime to come to the only possible solution.
“Oh no. He didn’t."
‘Oh, but he did.’ A voice in her mind bit back.
There was an explosion; a thousand shards of blue light in front of her eyes; so intense she had to throw her arm across her eyes, fully expecting Ares.
“Congratulations."
Gabrielle looked up into the coldest expression she’d ever seen on her best friend. “You’ve solved the puzzle."
***
Gabrielle stared at her friend in shock, unable to form a coherent sentence. “Xena… you’re dead… what…" she blinked hard, “Am I dreaming?"
The new Goddess sat down heavily on a bedroll that appeared. “No. You’re awake." She glanced back at the open-mouthed bard and leaned over to tap her jaw up. “It’s not polite to gape, Gabrielle." Then she blew air off her hand towards the kindling and watched morosely as it lit up, producing a warmer fire than any mortal could hope to create.
Finally, she stood up and walked over to Gabrielle. “Hey. I missed you."
The blonde shook her head painfully slow, trying to clear her thoughts, and then punched her best friend on the arm.
“Hey! What was that for?" Xena took a few steps back.
Her normally warm green eyes held an unfathomable anguish etched in them. “That was for dying. For not showing yourself when you were alive and well. For leaving your daughter without so much as a goodbye. For never answering my impossible calls for you—which, I realize now—are not completely impossible, because you are alive." She took a breath and turned her back on Xena. “For being indebted to Ares in a way we can never repay. For causing all the wars and skirmishes around the globe," off Xena’s startled look she added, “Oh yes, I’ve heard about them."
“For leaving when I needed you most. For wiping out my memory of that day. For letting me wander like a deranged person, until I finally slept for a week straight. For not caring," her voice cracked, but she still went on, “that I was completely distraught, inducing thoughts of suicide," Xena grabbed her arm and she calmly brushed it off. “And then realizing that if I did that, it would be dishonoring your sacrifice." She laughed derisively. “Your ‘sacrifice,’ which really wasn’t yours, but Ares’."
When she finally turned to face her, a bitter smiled twisted her lips. “Poor Ares. This is what?—the second or third time he’s given his life for you?"
Xena winced and was about to turn away, but Gabrielle grabbed her arm tightly and forced her to listen. “Not pretty, is it? The grieving cycle of the mortal soul: Cruel and twisted; bitter and angry. Cutting and unfamiliar. Kills the best of us, Xena, and you’ve just about killed me."
She touched her friend’s arm gently. “Gabrielle…"
“NO!" She yelled. “Did I ask you to speak? Did I even ask you?! All those times when I needed you—were you there?" Lids closed over blue eyes that were shrouded with pain. “You. Weren’t. There." Gabrielle snorted, as if finding something humorous in the situation. She stared at the goddess’ dejected form. “And I’m just supposed to forgive that, aren’t I?"
All the fight seeped out of her as she stared at the shattered deity next to her. Heaving a great big sigh, she sat down next to her and put an arm around her waist. For the first time in her life, Xena leaned into it, drawing strength where the god in her was lacking.
“I’m sorry."
Xena sighed and looked her friend in the eye. “No. I’m sorry. I should have tried to see you. I should have come in your dreams or something. And I should have said goodbye to my daughter. But that’s over with, in the past, and I can’t do anything about it." She pushed away from her. “Gabrielle, I want you to know that I had no idea you were like that. I didn’t wipe out your memory—Ares must have. I was out of it for a while. I don’t know how long—but a long time. He must have sent you to Poteidaia without your memories. That’s a huge invasion of privacy, I would never do that."
“I know. I’m sorry I even said it."
She reached for her hands, and folded them in her own. “I didn’t come to see you because I wanted to get out of this position before it was permanent. If I could’ve come back to you the way I wanted to, I would have. But I didn’t want you to see me this way. I’m the Goddess of War, Gabrielle, and it isn’t pretty."
Gabrielle rubbed a hand over her forehead. “Well at least no one can accuse Ares of being unoriginal. He must love this."
Xena shook her head. “That’s just it—Ares is gone."
“Ares? Gone? While you’re the Goddess of War? You’re kidding me. He wouldn’t miss this for the world. He’s got to be somewhere on the mortal plane—I can’t believe I haven’t run into him yet. It would be just like him to rub it in my face."
“You wouldn’t have met Ares unless you met the sharp edge of someone’s sword." Reading Gabrielle’s confused look, “Ares is in Tartarus. He’s been condemned to Hades for doing what he did. He didn’t just save my life—he gave me his. He’s in Tartarus—but he’s not dead. I think, somehow, I’m sustaining him just like he sustained me when my body was recovering from the fountain.
“He gave up his life to free the 40,000 souls, but because he was a god, he couldn’t complete the sacrifice. He gave his godhood to me, and now I have got to get it back to him, or I’m stuck like this forever."
Gabrielle frowned. “Well can’t you just go down there and give it back?"
Xena shot up and started to pace. “Yeah. If it was only that easy," she muttered.
Gabrielle watched her, sensing something else was bothering Xena, and then asked gently, “What’s wrong?"
Xena turned back to her, indignant. “What’s wrong? ‘What’s wrong?’ ‘What’s wrong’ is that I can’t bring him back, Gabrielle!" The anger deflated from her tone. “I don’t know how."
***
Gabrielle looked away, closed her eyes, and took in a deep breath. “Xena… there has to be a way. And—and we’ll find it. I can’t honestly believe that Ares wanted to spend his life in Tartarus."
The goddess stared at her blankly, thankful for her habit of stating the obvious, and the pulled her into a hug, burying her head in Gabrielle’s neck. “Thank the gods you’re with me, Gabrielle. If you weren't… I still don’t know how I made it this far without you."
She looked at her curiously. “You didn’t have… anyone?"
“Well… I had Aphrodite." Her eyes widened, and a sense of urgency laced her tone. “I completely forgot."
“You’re not the only one," Gabrielle muttered under her breath.
Xena shook her head. “You don’t understand. We’ve got to go."
“Where? Why?"
“I have to check on something."
Xena put her hand on Gabrielle’s shoulder and they left the forest, taking the camp supplies with them.
***
They arrived in the Halls of Love, and Xena walked anxiously to a set of red, heart-shaped double doors, throwing them open while Gabrielle struggled to keep up.
A pale, slender figure lay under the pink velvet duvet cover, slightly feverish and clammy. When Xena had entered, the figure stirred, and Gabrielle had to cover her mouth from the shock.
Aphrodite was…sick??!
With an ease she didn’t recognize, Xena sat down on the edge of the bed, smoothing some dampened curls off the goddess’s forehead. “How do you feel?"
Aphrodite tried to smile. “I’ve felt better, Warrior Babe. Feelin’ kinda grody right about now."
Swallowing hard, Xena waved a hand over her body. A light violet glow emanated from Aphrodite’s form and the coolness of fresh clothes caressed her body.
“Thanks." she whispered, before closing her eyes tiredly.
When she was certain that Morpheus had her safely in his arms, she rose from the bed and disappeared.
Gabrielle sighed and looked around the room. Hearts and roses dominated the room, which was mostly coordinated in pinks and reds. There was a sprinkling of black edging the room and she frowned.
“Where that did come from…"
Her eyes wandered a bit more and she noticed tons of rose petals glowing with golden sparkles culminating in a big glass box. “So that’s how she does it."
A dimmed blue flash sounded off next to her and Xena appeared, grabbing Gabrielle’s wrist while looking sheepish. “Sorry."
***
When they arrived in the Halls of War, Xena headed straight for her throne.
Gabrielle tried not to gape at the opulence of the room, and asked, “What’s wrong with Aphrodite? She didn’t even know I was there."
“Aphrodite is severely ill, close to dying. She is the essence of all the love in the world. Love is being overrun by war."
The blonde woman stared at Xena. “But if Aphrodite is love… then you are…"
“Exactly. I’m War. And my emotions are causing things to get out of control. I can’t keep the balance between Love and War. I’m killing her."
Gabrielle slowly closed her eyes again. “So what… what can we do?"
Xena frowned, and small goblet of wine formed in her hand. She took a sip, “When Ares was the God of War," she ignored Gabrielle’s question, “Aphrodite was okay. Love wasn’t threatened. So Ares knew the balance. If we can get Ares back, I think Aphrodite will be okay."
“Which brings us to the million-dinar question: How do we get Ares back?"
The goddess was silent—she didn’t want to admit that she still was unsure of how to go about getting Ares out of Tartarus. If only she had something—anything—to go by; to use as a precedent… but she didn’t.
There were like that for a while, Xena, brooding, and vaguely attending to some war in Thrace; Gabrielle, standing, slowly taking in the details of the room like a sponge.
The room was black, all over, with hints of red and purple. Weapons lined the walls and a great long table sat at the far left of the room. Spread on the table were maps of all kinds, displaying lands that belonged to various cities and warlords who were trying to take over those lands. A knife was stuck in the center of the largest map and Gabrielle decided she didn’t want to know what was on that one.
Inspiration struck her like a sudden bucket of cold water. “Oh!" She cried, startling Xena out of the war. “I completely forgot!"
Xena watched, amused, as Gabrielle stared digging through the supplies they’d brought back from her camp. More specifically, one of the saddle bags that Xena recognized from her time in the mortal realm.
“Aha!" Gabrielle exclaimed triumphantly, pulling something out of the bag and holding it behind her back before Xena could see what it was. She walked over to the goddess and withdrew her prize, revealing something round, shiny, and comfortingly familiar.
Xena’s chakram.
The bard smiled shamefacedly. “Thought you might want this back."
Xena just stared at it. She didn’t want to believe it was really there. And for some reason she couldn’t explain, she was afraid to touch it.
“Xena?" Gabrielle questioned, not liking the sudden vacant look her friend’s eyes had taken on. “You in there?"
She blinked and shook her head. “I’m fine." A hand reached out cautiously to touch the weapon. When nothing happened, she sighed in relief. Then she grasped it with both hands, letting the familiar feel of it wash over her. “Well that was anti-climactic."
“What was?"
She raised her arm to throw the weapon, “This," then she extended her wrist and let it fly. As soon as it left her hands, she crumpled to the floor in pain. A sound of pure agony flew from her mouth before she could stop it.
“Xena!" Gabrielle, headless of the ricocheting weapon, ran over to Xena. “Xena! What’s wrong?"
Shaking with repressed excruciating pain, she reached a shaky hand up and caught the chakram on the return flight. “It hurts," she managed as a spasm of pain racked her body. “It hurts so bad." Unchecked tears streamed down her face, and she curled into a ball, clutching her sides tightly, while trying to shield herself from the pain.
Images of Ares and herself together filled her mind. His face when she told him she felt nothing. The look on his face when she left him at the farm. Challenging Ares to tell her he loved her in the Tartarus hall. Ares shaking her and hollowly demanding that she follow his plan.
Gabrielle, mindless of the war that was raging between Xena’s heart and head, put her arms around her and they rocked back and forth. “Shh-hh-hhh."
Slowly, the shaking subsided as Xena tucked the pain into a pocket of her soul. With a great effort, she moved to stand, only to slump to the black marble floor again.
“No," she whispered in disbelief, knowing what that had just cost her physically and emotionally. “NO!" She roared, angry with herself for being so weak when the memories assaulted her; for feeling so helpless when she couldn’t save Ares; for causing Aphrodite—who’d done nothing wrong—so much pain.
Immediately, her rage and negative emotions graced the mortal world, where wars, skirmishes, and death broke out like wildfire. Neighbors went after their neighbors, lieutenants challenged commanders, steel clashed against steel, while War roamed the earth.
That fueling her, she found she could stand unassisted. The power enveloped her like cloud and she sank into her duties thankfully.
Then she blanched. “Aphrodite."
Gabrielle had the good sense to latch onto her arm before she dissolved in a set of blue sparkles.
***
“AHH-HH-HH!" Ares roared, his eyes and teeth clenched tightly as the wave of pain his him. He collapsed to the floor while his muscles twitched of their own accord.
Wave after wave hit him of his time with Xena. When he had used the Furies to try and get her to kill her mother. When he kissed Livia right in front of her. When he announced that he’d made a deal with Dahak. When he switched her body for Callisto’s.
Had anyone walked in and witnessed Ares’ private hell—they would have been shocked to see the former mighty God of War stricken powerless, curled in the fetal position on the ground.
Eventually, the pain became too strong for him to fight and he welcomed the coming darkness.
***
Aphrodite was in a coma.
The last charge Xena had drawn from the mortal realm was so strong, it nearly obliterated any traces of love from the earth. Like a backup-defense mechanism, Aphrodite had poured the love out of herself to keep it going.
Which also included her lifeforce.
As the Goddess of Love, Aphrodite had done everything she could to stop it from happening until it became too much for even her.
For once, War conquered Love.
“Will she wake up?"
Xena looked at the Goddess, not meeting Gabrielle’s eyes. She’d forgotten that Gabrielle was even in there with her. When she found she could speak again, “I don’t know."
Ares, where are you when I need you? And how do I save you?
She closed her eyes tightly, covering the tears that threatened to spill over. It was wrong to feel this helpless. She was the Goddess of War, dammit, and she ought to—
A moan from Aphrodite stopped her.
--She ought to learn how to control herself.
This was just insane. She was in danger of extinguishing Love itself from the Earth.
Love…
An idea formed slowly in her mind and she lazily caressed her chakram, while easing back into a pink chair. She touched the edge of it to Ares’ sword and jumped, for the sparks that had flown when they connected were powerful.
A slow grin curved her lips.
Gabrielle, who’d been watching all of this with a wary eye, was downright petrified when Xena got the dreamy look in her eyes and the slow smile transformed her face. “Xena?"
The Goddess of War turned to look at her, the smile now a full-fledged smirk. “Yes, Gabrielle?"
For a second, Gabrielle swore she was looking at Ares’ devil-may-care-grin. She felt she missed something vitally important. “What just happened?"
Xena lifted the chakram and looked at her reflection as she spoke. “I just figured out how to get Ares back."
***
When he’d regained consciousness, he wasn’t sure how long he’d been out for. That in itself was scary. Then, he started to hallucinate. He must have, because for on second, he was on Mount Olympus, staring at a comatose Aphrodite—how?!—and the next, a ghostly image of Xena was wavering in front of him, holding their weapon.
“I’m coming, Ares."
And then he passed out again.
***
Eve was in a relatively peacefully village when the outbreak in violence occurred. Love was overruled and War plowed down anything that was in its path.
“What in Gaea’s name…?" She wondered aloud, automatically dodging a sword.
If she thought things were strange, they were about to get stranger.
The villager wielding the sword in front of her finally registered, and she had to duck this time to avoid the sharp blade.
“Hey!" She exclaimed, falling to the ground to avoid it again.
He swung at her again and she reached behind her blindly for something to defend herself with. What her hands met was the rough handle of a staff and she groaned. Staffs were never her strong point.
When he swung to her left, she was ready for him and blocked high. He swung right and she blocked low. This went on for a while, sometimes switching around a bit; left, low, right, high, until he finally landed a nick on her knuckles, causing her to drop the staff with a sigh.
He stood over her, sword drawn back and it started to make its agonizingly slow descent. And that was where things got weird.
Instead of meeting her neck, it was met with resistance and she distinctly heard the clash of metal on metal. Something flickered in the air above her and she looked up to see… “Mother?!"
Xena pressed her sword against the other one and turned her neck, smiling. “Hi Evie." She blocked a cut, “We have to talk."
This time, whether from the distraction of seeing her daughter, or the fact that she had other things on her mind, they’d never know, but someone, the clumsy villager got a lucky opening.
It sliced clean through her midsection like butter, and she stood perfectly still while it was done.
Eve was horrified. “Mother!—no!" She’d just gotten her mother back and was about to lose her again to some stupid villager who thought he was being macho. She made a move to get up and block the next cut, but Xena moved her hand subtly and Eve was caught in some invisible brace.
Now Xena focused her attention on the misguided villager. “That wasn’t a very nice thing to do, now was it?"
He nodded dumbly, having seen the sword go through her himself, and deduced that she was a god.
She sighed, raised the arm that was holding Ares’ sword, and cleanly lobbed his head off. The rest of his body fell to the ground limply.
“Well," Xena said with a great deal of cheerfulness, “let’s go. I’ll explain everything on Olympus later."
She grabbed Eve’s hand and pulled her to her feet, into an embrace. Then she kissed the top of her head, “It’s good to see you again, sweetheart."
***
When Eve heard the whole story, her heart broke in pieces several times. But she, like her mother before her, held strong. That is, until the real whopper hit her. Seeing Aphrodite.
And she just lost it.
Started full-out bawling and ran into the comfort of War’s arms. When she stopped sobbing enough to speak, she asked, “What’s wrong with Aphrodite?"
“I am." Xena answered her simply, and Eve’s heart broke for her mother a little more. Then, she gently pushed her daughter back and held her by the shoulders, looking into the eyes that so mirrored her own.
“I need you to do something for me."
***
The air was damp and she rubbed her hands up and down her folded arms. “I’ll wait here." Gabrielle stood at the mouth of the face that led into Tartarus.
Xena stepped down and looked back up to her friend. “It’s gonna work, Gabrielle. You’ll see."
Then she disappeared from sight.
***
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