Rating: PG-13
Summary: A very funnily written story. When something happens to Aphrodite, Ares is blamed. Will anyone believe him?
Shadow Of A Doubt
By Grey
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the airhead and the hothead.” The Goddess of Wisdom appeared in a flash of gold.
Ares snorted, “And what does that make you, a waterhead?” Aphrodite giggled while Athena narrowed her eyes at their brother who shrugged.
Just as the Goddess of Wisdom and Honorable War opened her mouth to give the God of War an equally charming reply, Aphrodite, the resident Goddess of Love, piped up. “Ah, don’t pout ‘thena. It doesn’t become you. I take it your date last night was another dib?” That sent Ares into a fit of laughter as Aphrodite grinned broadly. “Don’t worry, that’s where I come in. I’ll make sure to look into that problem of yours as soon as I can.” Aphrodite winked at Athena as Ares fought his laughter down with more than a little trouble. Athena merely glared from one sibling to the other.
“And what, pray tell, is a dib?” Ares choked, turning a lovely shade of pink, which earned him a dirty look from the Goddess of Wisdom while the Goddess of Love grinned at him. After all, pink was her color. When the God of War had calmed down sufficiently, Aphrodite turned her attention to Athena who was wearing a smug look on her face.
“You mean you don’t know? Oh that’s alright, I’ll explain it to you.” Aphrodite made herself a bit more comfortable on her throne, produced a few berries and enjoyed one or two of them before she began to explain. She made sure to talk slowly in order for Athena to understand it. Gods knew that girl could be so dense sometimes. A bit like that bard-girly that hung out with Xena nowadays… The one her favorite seemed so fond of.
“You see, a dib is short for the shelf-exhplaining phrashe,“ The Goddess of Love paused a moment to swallow her berries and make a happy sound, “Disappointment In Bed. D I B. Dib, get it?”
Athena was fuming and ready to throw a bolt at the smirking face of her sister. How dare she! That’s when Ares decided to let them know he was still there as well in a most aggravating way. “Not that they ever make it that far…” A grin accompanied that sentence,
And Aphrodite smiled sweetly in response. “Of course not, silly! Why do you think they’re such disappointments?” That sent both Gods off again, leaving a very pissed off Goddess of Wisdom to fume in herself.
Athena’s eyes were nothing more than cold slits at that point as she vanished into the aether without relaying the message that Zeus wanted to see all gods in the throne room right away. Who did father think she was anyway, Hermes? Humph… Collecting herself she stepped into existence again on the Mountain Olympus, Home of the Gods, Highest Peak in all of Greece, and Throne Room to Zeus.
“Athena, where are Ares and Aphrodite?” Zeus’ voice boomed through the great halls.
Looking as regal as she could the Goddess of Wisdom slowly ascended the stairs and walked to her chair at the table, ignoring the stares she got as everyone present turned and waited for her to answer. “Most likely still in Aphrodite’s temple. They appeared to be ‘amusing’ one another when I dropped in on them and showed no signs of leaving when I did.” Not that she had given them any reason to do so.
Hepheastus had begun to fidget almost as soon as Athena had started speaking, who allowed herself a little smile. “What’s wrong Hepheastus? Don’t you trust Aphrodite?” Apollo laughed at that while the God of the Forge managed a small smile.
“It’s not that I don’t trust her, it’s Ares I’m worried about…”
Cupid placed a hand on Hepheastus’ arm in a comforting manner. “Zeus ordered all gods to participate in this meeting. I’m sure the two of us can convince them of the urgency. We’ll be back shortly.” The elder god nodded gratefully at his ‘son’ as both got up from their seats at the long table and stepped into the aether.
As they appeared in the aforementioned temple of Aphrodite however, they weren’t quite prepared for the sight that met their eyes. Ares, God of War, was hovering above an apparently unconscious Aphrodite, sword drawn. “ARES!” As Ares turned to look at the new arrivals, still in battle-stance, Cupid and Hepheastus immediately took action. The winged God of Love took to the air, calling bow and arrows to his side. Contrary to the arrows he would normally use, these arrows were made neither to create nor to destroy love. They were arrows made of Hepheastus’ steel, meant for battle. He was, after all, his father’s son. While he unleashed the first flurry of his arrows, Hepheastus was throwing bolts of fire at the God of War who refused to move from Aphrodite’s side. This made it impossible for the God of the Forge to trap the God of War without trapping his beloved as well. Cupid knew how to fix that problem. Letting fly his arrows followed by several bolts, making sure not to harm his mother, the young god tried to force Ares into backing away from the inert form of Aphrodite. Ares for one was reluctant to do so and blocked the attacks with his sword, even dodging an occasional arrow. It wasn’t until a bolt from Hepheastus busied him long enough for one of Cupid’s arrows to hit him so, that he stumbled far enough away from the Goddess of Love that the God of the Forge called upon a cage to hold a roaring Ares.
Ignoring Ares for the moment, both gods rushed to Aphrodite. “Mother!” “Aphrodite, are you alright, love?” Aphrodite, being unconscious, didn’t answer. She did, however, look extremely graceful doing so and the God of the Forge could not help but notice. Gently, Hepheastus picked up his wife and moved her to the altar. Cupid cleared away the offerings and candles with a snap of his finger, replacing them with a warm fur for his mother to lie on. Carefully lowering Aphrodite on it, Hepheastus produced another one to serve as a blanket and covered the Goddess of Love with it. Cupid had called on Apollo to heal his mother should that be necessary and not too long after that the Sun God appeared, along with Artemis, his twin-sister and Goddess of the Hunt and the Moon and Athena, Goddess of Wisdom. “What in the Styx!”
“Come on Herc! The fish won’t wait for us, you know.”
The demi-god grinned at his enthusiastic friend. “I wouldn’t be so sure of that. It’s not like they can get out of the water and walk away.”
Iolaus shrugged. “Stranger things have happened. Now come on!”
Hercules shook his head but quickened his pace a little anyway. It wasn’t every day that they could go fishing. Usually they had to ‘fix’ this or that problem.
Today wouldn’t be much different, as they would find out in a little while. Right about now actually. In a flash of gold, Cupid the winged God of Love appeared near them, a frown on his youthful features. Iolaus sighed, throwing his hands in the air. When gods started showing up in front of you, you were either in trouble or they needed your help. With Hercules around, it was most likely the last.
“Alright, what do you need us for this time…” The frown remained although it seemed to shift focus from something they couldn’t see to the smaller man. “I came to get Hercules, I’m not sure it’s such a good idea to bring you as well…”
“Too bad, because where Hercules goes, I go.”
Despite the situation, Cupid grinned a little, raising an eyebrow. “Even to the little men’s room?”
“Oh come on. You know what I mean!” Iolaus answered hotly, his cheeks burning.
Hercules decided to break up the party while he still could. “Let’s just go, shall...” before the son of Zeus could finish his sentence, Cupid had taken his arm and transported the two of them to Aphrodite’s temple where Apollo appeared to have ventured too close to Ares’ cage.
The God of War banged his brother’s head against the bars before gripping him tightly by the scruff of his shirt. The Sun God was kicking and screaming while Ares simply held on.
“… we?” Hercules finished, caught slightly off guard.
“Apollo, you idiot! You should have known he’d do something like that!” At least Athena sounded as chirpy as ever. Artemis moved to help her brother but Ares simply kicked her away, cursing everything and everyone in his sight. Finally Athena couldn’t take it anymore and produced a bolt of lightning and threw it at the cage. Both Apollo and Ares fell to the floor, dazed from the shock. Apollo recovered quickly and was acting all high and mighty again, shouting his head off at Ares for being a jerk and worse, and at Athena for shocking him. Ares merely snarled at them, his mood only getting worse when he noticed Hercules.
“Oh great, who invited Jerkules to the party?”
Athena glared at her sibling. “Shut UP Ares. If it hadn’t been for you, this wouldn’t have happened. The least you can do is keep that mouth of yours shut TIGHT.”
Ares growled at her, anger smouldering in his suddenly very dark eyes. “I did NOT cause any of this!”
“Yeah right, brother. We all know you, so either shut up or confess.” Surprisingly, Ares did not retort. Instead, he retreated to the very back of the cage and leaned against the far wall, glaring from Athena to Jerkules, occasionally shooting an angry glance at Apollo. He pointedly ignored both Gods of Love and the God of the Forge. Not that anyone noticed…
Hercules turned to give Cupid a doubtful look. The young god sighed and moved towards the altar. That’s when the demi-god noticed the still form of his sister and what he guessed to be her husband Hepheastus, standing next to the altar, looking at Aphrodite with worry and love. Hercules could imagine only too well how the God of the Forge must be feeling right now and when the other looked his way he nodded encouragingly. He was surprised with a grateful smile. He wasn’t used to gods being grateful for his help, let alone thank him with anything. Except for Aphrodite now and then, who was unavailable at the moment. All right, time to get down to business. “Could someone tell me what’s going on?”
“… and then, like a spirit from the Underworld, Xena, the Baroness of Battle appeared on the field of war. Her wail caused all warriors to halt as she…”
“Gabrielle, I do not wail.” Xena, the Baroness of Battle looked down at the blonde-haired bard in training walking next to Argo.
“But Xena-a-a-a,”
“Gabrie-e-e-elle,”
“No, listen for a moment.”
Xena rolled her eyes as Gabrielle set off in a full-scale explanation of the why and the how it came to be. Or at least it sounded somewhat like that. The more understandable term for that would be more ranting. Except that this was even more unbearable than the story she had been telling before. After a minute or so, Xena relented. Who cared about things like that anyway? “Fine, fine. Have it your way. But I do not wail.” A smile flashed across the aspiring bard’s face, obviously proud of herself. “I saw that.”
Gabrielle’s cheek turned beat red at that. Xena chuckled. “I won’t have to change the story, will I?”
Xena opened her mouth to answer her travel companion when she narrowed her eyes and looked over her shoulder. “Something’s wrong.”
The bard gripped her staff tighter as she turned around as well. “Are we going to have to fight?”
“Hmmm… No.”
“What do you mean, no. Is there trouble or isn’t there?”
“There is, just not here. Take my hand.”
Xena reached down to grab Gabrielle’s arm and hoist the younger girl on Argo when said girl took a step back. “Now wait a minute, Xena. Me and Argo don’t get along that well, remember?”
“Gabrielle…”
The bard knew better than to argue with that tone of voice and sighed. “Okay, fine, but if I fall off, it’ll be on your head.”
“I’ll take that chance…”
“Xena!”
The Warrior Princess ignored the indignant reply as she pulled the bard up on the horse. “Ready?” she asked over her shoulder.
“Yeah almost, I… aaaAAAH!” Who cared about things like that anyway?
“Oh great, just great. Now what am I going to do? Fishing? Hah, with my luck they’re at the annual festival of Poseidon. I wish that once, just once they’d... but nooooo. It makes me so… Unnngrrr! I should have stayed in bed!” Frustrated, Iolaus threw his hands in the air. An action followed by a sigh as he stopped pacing. Sitting down, he looked at the fishing rod he’d been carrying. He didn’t feel like fishing anymore which made the thing pretty useless. “Wait a minute… If Cupid’s involved, chances are, Aphrodite knows what’s going on. There should be a temple dedicated to her around here somewhere… Ah!” With that the golden hunter picked up his rod and started walking. It would be a shame to leave it lying here. He did pay good money for it and who knew, someday, there was a remote chance that he could use it the way it was meant to be, for fishing. Sighing, he started to walk in the direction of Aphrodite’s temple. At least he had something to do now. Which was more than he had a minute ago. He was a man with a mission. Yeah! He sighed again. Yeah right…
Hercules soon learned not to ask that question in general ever again. Who would want to be attacked by a cacophony of voices, belonging to Athena, Apollo, Artemis who was still upset about what Ares had done to her brother, and the more calmer voice of Cupid who was trying to get them to shut up, had attacked him. “This is going to be a long day…” Hercules sighed.
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