Disclaimer: These characters don’t belong to me, they belong to whomever created/owns Xena: Warrior Princess. Arnie, Mercies and Harold belong to me!
Summary: Xena, Ares, Aphrodite and Callisto are in our world Again! This one’s total PWP in the beginning, but then it gets more of a plot.
Rating: R
Warnings: Sex, yes, mentions and innuendo’s. Subtext, no. Violence, Gabrielle gets bashed. Language, the B + Itch word! Also, WARNING, some words may have to leave your vocabulary after reading this! ;)
Author’s Notes: Ares and Xena are married and have kids in this story, and it’s set in modern times. Xena is just immortal, not a goddess.
Xena sank into the Jacuzzi in her room completely naked; she wanted a nice warm soak after a tough day in the modern world. Ares came in the room and, after taking a minute to admire his wife, made his clothes disappear and climbed in the Jacuzzi also. “Hello, princess.”
Xena smiled, coming closer to Ares. “Oh you charmer… Why don’t you lay down and get the ammunition ready!”
“Sure Xe, be glad to,” Ares answered easily.
“Mmm!” Xena murmured.
*Gurgle, gurgle, gurgle*
An hour later…
“That felt great, Ares, just what I needed to relax! Let’s try it again tomorrow,” Xena told him.
“Sure Xena, the best warrior this millennium,” Ares complimented her.
“Now Ares, maybe we should try that again!” Xena said.
“Sure Xe!” Ares said, no questions asked.
Ammunition rolled from Ares to Xena.
Up with Aphrodite….
Aphrodite was walking around nude, trying to figure out whom to have sex with. “Mercies, get Arnie over here pronto, please!” Aphrodite sang.
“Okay, Aphrodite, great goddess of love” Mercies answered.
*Knock, knock*
“Listen Arnie, just get on top of me and start the process of elimination!” Aphrodite told him with a giggle.
“Sure Aphrodite, I’d be glad to” Arnie said, he was very happy indeed. After all, it wasn’t every day the goddess of love called you in to have sex with her.
And yes Aphrodite and Arnie did… ‘Try to have a baby, push, push, PUSH!’
Arnie and Aphrodite had a second round of the ‘baby making’.
Back to Xena and Ares….
“That was the best feeling I’ve ever,” Xena said.
“I know Xena, I know!” Ares said.
“Ares your lips are so great!” Xena said, taking a few moments to get her heartbeat back to normal.
“I know that, Xe” Ares answered with a smirk.
Ares lips slowly went down Xena’s body memorizing it. Xena just laid back and let Ares do his job. Ares caressed her, bringing her to the edge of pleasure quickly.
Suddenly Aphrodite and Arnie walked in the room. Aphrodite’s outfit was askew and Arnie had a huge smirk on his face. Ares zapped a bathrobe on him and one on Xena quickly, seeing her embarrassed. Aphrodite and Ares exchanged worried glances and so did Xena and Arnie. Love had definitely been in the air. “Hey stud muffin! Xe, honey, I’ll umm take you to the bathroom to clean you up. Arnie please deal with Ares.” Aphrodite said.
Xena and Aphrodite hurried into the washroom. “Xe, what were you thinking girl? I’ll zap you a dress really quickly. Black, armor, chakram, boot dagger, breast dagger, belt, sword, staff, and traveling coat. And oops I can’t forget that this is 2002. Okay, small skirt, black no sleeves, sweater, hi-heeled boots, socks, a hand bag with food and last but not least your sword.” Aphrodite stated with a flick of her hand.
Xena looked at herself in the mirror. Xena hardly frowned at Aphrodite’s choice of clothing. Aphrodite zapped herself into a pink bikini top; pink mini skirt, white socks and pink high-heels.
Xena and Aphrodite went outside the bathroom to see Ares wearing his usual leather outfit. Arnie wore a leather outfit but didn’t even come close to handsome compared to Ares. Xena and Ares embraced. Aphrodite and Arnie embraced each other too. Suddenly Gabrielle popped into the room wearing an outfit that looked identical to Aphrodite’s. “What are you doing with my outfit you blonde bitch? Didn’t I tell you to leave my clothes alone?" Aphrodite screamed, making Gabrielle a goddess had been one of her worse choices.
Gabrielle cowered against the wall “By the way Aphrodite, your clothes are now mine!” Gabrielle said.
“The aren’t yours!” Xena and Ares scowled, saying the exact same thing in defense of the love goddess without even knowing it.
“Listen Gabrielle, the aren’t yours!” Xena exploded.
“Xena, they are mine now. Callisto gave them to me!” Gabrielle whined.
“Callisto! You have no right to take my clothes and give them away. I want MY CLOTHES BACK RIGHT NOW CALLISTO!” Aphrodite screeched unhappy, beginning to think that making Callisto her fashion project had been a mistake.
“Gabrielle, hand over the clothes,” Callisto said between laughs… it had been hilarious watching Aphrodite freak out like that.
Gabrielle reluctantly handed over the clothes. Aphrodite snatched up the clothes and begged “Gabrielle, please leave.”
Gabrielle left in a huff, finding no words to express her outrage. Aphrodite, Ares, Xena and Arnie all wore huge smiles. Xena loved Ares and clearly stated “I love you, god of war!”
Ares was awed. Xena loved him he knew, but saying that out loud was more then he could bear. “Umm, Xe, is something wrong?” Ares asked.
“What? You bitch! We didn’t like Gabrielle, but didn’t like does not mean we wanted her killed!” Aphrodite screamed as if she was bloody murder.
“Listen, Aphrodite, I do believe I did you a favor. Nobody liked her, not even you Arnie, right?” Callisto asked.
“Umm Gabrielle. Sweet girl, nice moves, really great nude.” Arnie said casually.
“ARNIE! You two-timer! Leave right now before I get my big brother to kick you out the door or kill you. NOW LEAVE” Aphrodite shrieked.
Ares crossed his arms over his chest angrily… nobody messed with his little sister. “Out.”
“I’m leaving! I’m leaving Aphrodite” Arnie said, nervously casting a glance towards the glowering god of war.
Arnie scurried out the door like a scared rabbit. “See you!”
“Mercies!” Aphrodite said, waiting till Mercies flew in before continuing. “Listen Mercies, could you get Harold on the phone?” She said sweetly.
Mercies vanished, and then appeared with a phone. He handed it o Aphrodite and she began yapping. Finally Aphrodite handed the phone back to Mercies. “So, goddess of love, did he say he could come?” Mercies asked, being the goddess of love’s secretary had some downsides, but the perks were wonderful.
“Of course he could, but he wanted me to go there. Of all the boyfriends I’ve had in my lifetime, Hari is the sweetest. The dear boy asked me over. Yippee! My beauty must be so heavenly that he has fallen deeply in love with me!” Aphrodite said, rambling on about her beauty for a while.
Aphrodite zapped herself into something more fancy and more Aphroditeish. Yep, love was around in the air. Xena looked at Ares once Aphrodite was gone “For god-sakes… Fix my outfit!”